Τρίτη 21 Φεβρουαρίου 2012

Winchesters όπως λέμε... Τσακ Νόρρις


Ατάκες για τους Σαμ, Ντην, Τζον όπως του Τσακ Νόρρις. Γελάστε ελεύθερα!
Very Special Thanks To Zafeira!
DEAN WINCHESTER

-Guns don't kill people. Dean Winchester kills people.
-Dean Winchester is the reason why Waldo is hiding
-Dean Winchester does not sleep. He waits.
-Dean Winchester is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis
-Dean Winchester isn't cool, cool models itself after Dean Winchester.
-Dean Winchester died ten years ago, but no Grim Reaper can get up the courage to tell him.
-When Dean Winchester does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
-Dean Winchester is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
-Dean Winchester gave Mona Lisa that smile.
-Dean Winchester does not get frostbite. Dean Winchester bites frost.
-Dean Winchester once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just The Islands.
-Dean Winchester was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
-Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 % of germs. Dean Winchester can kill 100 % of germs whenever the f**k he wants.
-Dean Winchester does not pop his collar; his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
-Dean Winchester has to have a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
-Superman wears Dean Winchester pajamas.
-Dean Winchester's watch has no numbers on it, it just says, "Time to Kick Ass"
-Dean Winchester puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
-Dean Winchester once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
-When Dean Winchester exercises, the machine gets stronger.
-Dean Winchester does not use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
-When Dean Winchester enters a room, he doesn't turn the light on, he turns the dark off.
-When Dean Winchester breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.
-Elvis left the building because Dean Winchester showed up and told him to get the f**k out.
-Dean Winchester can tell John Locke what he can't do.
-The answer to every mystery on Lost is Dean Winchester.
-Dean Winchester created Hell. He's so hot he lit the place on fire.
- Dean is the reason rock music is awesome, if he likes it everyone does, or they are in for a bit of Dean time.
Dean Winchester can kill two stones with one bird.
- DeanWinchester's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- Dean Winchester CAN believe it's not butter.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Dean Winchester, each testicle is larger than the other one.
- Dean Winchester doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- Dean Winchester can touch MC Hammer.
- Dean Winchester does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Dean Winchester turned that wine into beer.
- Dean doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
-Dean Winchester once punched a man in the soul.
-Dean Winchester can find the needle in the haystack.
-Before he forgot a gift for Dean Winchester, Santa did in fact exist.
-When Dean Winchester runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
-Its no use crying over spilt milk, unless its Dean Winchesters spilt milk because then you're gonna die.
-Similar to a Russian nesting doll, if you were to break Dean Winchester open. you would find another Dean Winchester inside, only smaller and angrier.
-Contrary to popular belief, there is in fact enough Dean Winchester to go around.
-When a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear it? yes, Dean Winchester hears it. Dean Winchester hears everything.
-If, by some, incredible space-time paradox Dean Winchester were to go back in time and fight himself, he would win. period.
Guns don't kill demons, Dean Winchester kills demons, the gun just distracts them

-Apple pays Dean Winchester 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
-If you have 5 dollars, and Dean has 5 dollars, Dean Winchester has more money than you.
- Dean Winchester can sneeze with his eyes open.
-Dean Winchester destroyed the periodic table of elements. He only acknowledges the element of surprise.
- Dean Winchester once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
-Dean Winchester has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
-Edward Cullen checks under his bed for Dean Winchester.
- Dean Winchester has no fear . He IS the fear .
- Once Dean Winchester smiled at a demon, and it turned into an angel. Dean Winchester is a vegetarian. Meaning, he puts animals in a vegitive state with his fists before he eats them. 


SAM WINCHESTER

-Sam Winchester counted to infinity. Twice.
-Sam Winchesters smile once brought a puppy back to life.
-Sam Winchester can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
-Sam Winchester doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Sam Winchester can divide by zero.
-When Sam Winchester falls in water, Sam Winchester doesn't get wet. Water gets Sam Winchester.
-Sam Winchester got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Sam Winchester for every answer.
-Sam Winchester doesn't wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.
-Sam Winchester can slam a revolving door.
-Sam Winchester can speak Braille.
-Sam Winchester sleeps with a night light. Not because Sam Winchester is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Sam Winchester.
-Sam Winchester can build a snowman out of rain.
-Sam Winchester once finished "The Song That Never Ends."
-When Sam Winchester gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
-Sam Winchester was offered the role of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings. He declined, saying, "Only a pu$$y would need 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."
-Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Sam Winchesters computer will crash.
-The only time Sam Winchester was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.
-The last digit of Pi is Sam Winchester.
- The imagrints come to america to see Sam and Dean.
-Sam Winchester is actually Jeeves from askJeeves.com
-Sam is the reason his house caught on fire, he is so hot the curtains got the fire.
-Sam Winchester is the reason the dead come back to life.
-If you have a child that is missing, call sam, he will look so hard he will find that kid in a second.
-Sam Winchester does not use spellcheck, if he happens to mispell a word, dictionaries will simply change the actual spelling of it.
-Sam Winchester can mix oil and vinegar. Permanently.
-Sam Winchester can hear silence.
-Sam Winchester played Russian Ruelette with a fully loaded gun. And won.
-Sam Winchester can have his cake AND eat it too.
Sam Winchester can give a female demon a fatal heart-attack just by smiling at her.
- there is no ctrl button on Sam Winchesters computer. Sam Winchester is always in control.
-Sam Winchester can win a staring contest with a picture
- Sam Winchester once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
- Sam Winchester can delete the Recycling Bin.
When standing next to Sam Winchester even the biggest genius feels dumb
- Sam Winchester doesn't read books - he stares at them until he gets the information he wants.
- When Sam Winchester brushes his hair in the morning, a hurricane starts on the other side of the world.

JOHN WINCHESTER
-There is not theory of evolution, just a list of animals John Winchester allows to live.
-Brokeback Mountain is what John Winchester calls the pile of dead demons he 
leaves in his wake.
-The chief export of John Winchester is pain.
-John Winchester has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
-John Winchester doesn't go hunting, John Winchester goes killing.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects John Winchester could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-If you can see John Winchester, he can see you. If you can't see John Winchester, it's already too late.
-John Winchester once shot down a German plane by pointing his finger and yelling "bang."
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for John Winchester.
-There is no such thing as global warming. John Winchester was cold, so he turned 
the sun up.
-John Winchester can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
-John Winchester can drown a fish.
-Ghosts are actually caused by John Winchester killing faster than death can process.
-It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. John Winchester can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
-John Winchester sold his soul to the Demon for his rugged good looks and unparalleled hunting ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, John punched the Demon in the face and took his soul back. The Demon, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but John Winchester says its beef, then it's f**king beef!
-John Winchesters calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools John Winchester.
-A man once asked John Winchester if his real name was Jonathan. John Winchester did not answer him; he simply stared at him until his head exploded.
-A cobra once bit John Winchester in the leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
-A unicorn once kicked John Winchester. That is why they no longer exist.
-John Winchester does not play "hide and seek." He plays, "hide and pray I don't find you."
-When John Winchester answers the phone, he says "Go." This is not permission for you to start speaking; it is your cue to start running for your life.
-Crop circles are John Winchesters way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie the f**k down.
-On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "John Winchester was here."
-When you are sick, call John, he will MAKE the sickness go away.
-John Winchester owns his own private estate. We know it as the Bermuda Triangle. John Winchester does not tollerate trespassers.
-John Winchester was born in a log cabin that he build with his bare hands.
-John Winchester can kick-start a car.
-When John Winchester was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never slap John Winchester.
-John Winchester grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with rage.
-When John Winchester dials a 1-900 number, he doesn't get charged. He just holds the phoneupside downand money comes out.
-John Winchester always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.
When John Winchester Is up against death , death dies


WINCHESTERS

-Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Supernatural marathon on Satellite TV.
-Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with the Winchesters.
-Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Winchestership.
-When an episode of Supernatural aired in France, the French surrendered to the Winchesters just to be on the safe side.
-There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, the Winchesters live in Kansas.
-One of the Winchesters took my virginity, and one of them will take yours too. If you're saying, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.
- There is a something that is perfect. The Winchesters are perfect.
- The Winchesters are so hot, they are the cause of global warming.
- Every two seconds someone in the United States needs blood, all of it due to the Winchesters.
- If you want a list of the Winchesters enemies, just check the extinct species list.
- Demons want to grow up to be just like the Winchesters, instead they grow up just to be killed by the Winchesters.
- The Seven Deadly Sins keep the Winchesters out of Hell.
-The Winchesters are the reason the Cullens are vegetarians.


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